The greatest dilemma that man has ever been faced with, other than the illimitable queries about bowel movements and its apparent effects on sleep and smoking patterns, has been the quest to quantify variables. Man hates variables. If man ever wanted a book written titled Life 101, the first thing he would ask for are all the variables he would face in Life 1 0 1 (Binary now). Flerovium (atomic symbol Fl) and livermorium (atomic symbol Lv) just got added to the Periodic Table, the understanding of all variables is impossible.
However, there are variances that Man accounts for, stemming from his limited understanding of his surroundings. He accounts for the love that another man shares for blaring monotones of monstrosity belted out from the vocal chords of Katy Perry while his more restrained taste in psychedelic rock is understated. Man accounts for vulgar hip gyrations that are offered for the front seats while his taste in carnal yet fluid jazz is locked away. Man accounts for death and life, light and darkness, sorrow and joy and every other spectrum encompassing variable. The one thing he forgets to account for hence, is the largest variance of them all, the one variable he can actually control – himself!
He continues to wonder how to account for that. My new variable – Wheels on hotel beds!
